I attended the candle lighting for my friend Noah yesterday on July 18th, 2016. As I stood in the crowd of roughly two hundred people and listened to each person speak about Noah. They were telling stories about him, sharing memories, hearing how each person had met him, how he had made an impact on so many peoples lives and listening to how much love everyone has for him and how much he is missed. As I listened to the first person who spoke, I couldn't help but cry. I would laugh and smile hearing the funny stories about him but cry because it was sinking in even more that he is really gone. I wanted to speak so badly so that I could let everyone there know how special he was to me and how much of an impact he had on my life. But I couldn't even think about speaking without crying. I saw all the posts on Facebook about him and I sat down in the same spot for hours up all night trying to think of the perfect words to write about him in my post. After a day with no sleep I ended up making the post private and decided I wanted to put something on here. It may not be perfect but I hope this comes across in the way I want it to to others. When I heard the news about Noah I was, and still am completely devastated over this. I met Noah when we were in fourth grade at Pioneer Elementary. I still remember when he was the new kid in my class. Him and I were in the Y-Care program after school together. Noah has always had the best sense of humor and would make everyone laugh and still does. He was a daredevil and was unlike anyone I have ever met. He was the kid who never turned down a challenge. He would be eating bugs and paperclips with a big goofy grin on his face. From the first time I saw him I knew he was special. When I meet people I go off of vibes. I get good vibes from people and I get bad vibes. Noah gave me a good vibe that was different than the usual vibe. I enjoyed being around Noah because he always kept it real. While everyone constantly changes who they are around others and try to be just like everyone else, he was always just Noah. One of the many things I love about him is how real and unique he was and how he never pretended to be anyone he wasn't. I have struggled my whole life due to traumatic events from my childhood. At a young age I got diagnosed with anxiety and depression because of what I went through as a child. I haven't been truly happy since I was to young to remember. All my life all I have ever wanted was someone to understand me and truly know me. I have never felt that anyone has, even to this day, except for Noah. I always felt that him and I understood each other and could relate on so many different things. I started using marijuana, alcohol and tried ecstasy at a young age and was one of the only few kids to have tried anything when I was in middle school. I have struggled with alcohol and drug addiction since then. I remember kids saying horrible things about me and looking at me so badly for doing so. I still remember how anxious, depressed and lonely I felt because of how I was treated by others. Although the many feelings such as anxiety, stress, depression and loneliness never left me, talking to Noah always made me feel less alone. He made something I didn't think was ever possible for me to feel, possible. It was nice to know there was somebody who didn't judge me and who understood why I was doing the things I did because they were going through something similar. He was such a caring and understanding person. He was full of love. Noah was hands down the most talented person I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. His ability to write and play his own music was insane. I would get so excited to tell everyone I knew about how talented he was and how when he made it big one day I would get to say, "I hungout with him!" I remember he would be banging on his guitar downtown and people passing by would be asking what White Stripes song he was playing. To see the look on their faces after hearing it was his own music was so great and satisfying. I wanted the world to hear Noah's music so badly because he had so much talent. Noah would have ended up becoming one of the greatest musicians of our generation. I always loved the passion he had for his music and I never once doubted that he was going to be famous in the future. He would pour his soul into every song he played and wrote and every show he performed. I would get so angry and still am angry at all the people who judged and deserted Noah for being an addict and for making mistakes just like everyone does. It baffled me how some people couldn't see the amazing qualities in Noah until he was gone and just because he suffered from the disease of addiction. People failed to see how good of a person he was because of people shaming addiction. People have a way of pigeonholing those who suffer from addiction as "trash," "junkies" or "criminals," which is hardly ever the truth. Yes, there are millions of addicts who do things that are "bad." They may lie, cheat or steal from friends, but there are also millions of people who do all of those things and even worse who aren't addicts. Whether somebody is an alcoholic/drug addict who is currently using, a recovering alcoholic/addict or they have done drugs at any point in their life, neither of those things make them in any way a bad person. I could never judge or desert Noah for that because I understood him more than a lot of people. Addiction isn't something someone can control, people like Noah and myself didn't chose to be addicts. I wish the people who only saw the addiction and bad things in Noah could see how amazing he truly was and how much he gave to others. I would know when Noah was using but I never thought it would turn out like this. It all still doesn't seem real. Most addicts like Noah and myself think that we are invincible. I just keep asking myself why it had to be Noah. I want to make an effort from this point on to spread awareness about drug and alcohol addiction to everyone. Addiction is not a game and Addiction is the reason such a beautiful, talented, loving and smart young life was taken at just 20 years old. I wish I would have gotten the chance to spend a whole lot more time with Noah than I already have. The world was truly robbed of someone so talented and beyond special. Noah will be missed but never forgotten. He was a special soul and I hope he is looking down on us all and can see how many people love him and care about him. I'll miss you Noah, thank you for everything. You have affected my life positively more than you will ever know. Rest in Paradise, friend.

​

​Karoline